![]() "It basically just uses their vaginal muscles and nothing else to keep the toy in place," he says.ģ. Now she recommends SpareParts harnesses. "It's worth spending the extra money," she says, "Never skimp when it comes to sex and what you put on and in your body!" Laws avoids the strapless ones (such as the Feeldoe toy line), which are basically double-ended dildos with one end angled to be inserted into the active partner. Yes, it matters if your strap-on equipment is well-made or if it's a piece of garbage you got a good deal on. Berman says she once wore a strap-on that was really uncomfortable and cheaply made, and it broke during sex, and I'm guessing no one was psyched to pick up the sad dildo up the ground that had random hair all over it and start again by trying to make a new harness out of a sheet. Plus, a lot of stores will show you how to put the dildo and the harness together, kind of like someone at a regular toy store helping you put together a Barbie dream house, if that Barbie dream house was about to go into someone's vagina.Ģ. ![]() Carly S., 28, general manager of Romantic Depot in NYC, says a good rule of thumb is "the wearer picks the color, the receiver picks the size." Carly also recommends finding a sex toy shop that can advise you on toys that are body safe (see also: won't give you a UTI or yeast infection because some will do that, and it is the worst. The main thing you need to do is bring your partner dildo shopping so you can choose one together. And then there's a third group that thinks they all look the same in the dark, which is a legit point. First things first: Purchase a dildo and a harness.ġ. You don't have to choose a dildo that looks like an actual penis. Stephanie Berman, 34, CEO of POPDildo & The Semenette, says she knows some lesbians who love dildos that look like penises, but says plenty of other women like more sculptural dildos. ![]() I spoke with a bunch of women and transgender men who love strap-on sex to walk me through all the ins and outs of using a dildo. Strap-ons can be used by straight women to penetrate their boyfriends (which is called "pegging") or by gay women or trans men to have penetrative sex their female partners, or by anyone to penetrate anyone! The penetrative options are endless. Jen Laws, a 30-year-old transgender man and Customer Service Rep for PerfectFitBrand, has some mixed feelings about strap-on sex. "It can be a reminder that my body has failed to live up to my personal ideal around sex," he says, but it's still one of his top three favorite sexual activities. You could be having a great old time until the dildo pops out or goes in the wrong hole or you have to switch positions because it's hitting a spot in her vagina that feels like someone's stabbing her with a dildo, which isn't ideal. But obviously strap-on sex can be just as awkward as penis-in-vagina penetrative sex. The idea that a cisgender woman can strap on a dildo and a harness that makes her feel like a cowboy and a penetrate another person, no big deal, basically seems like the epitome of cool to me.
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